A week of changes. . .

Back to work, daycare and sleeping through the night - where do I start!!?? Last week on Monday, January 4th, I started back to work after being on maternity leave for 3 months. This was also Charlotte's first day at daycare. I methodically planned and prepared myself for this day for about 5 1/2 months, but I hadn't planned on feeling the way I did that cold Monday morning. Pure dread doesn't quite describe it. I literally cried for about 2 weeks prior on and off and thought I had it out of my system. Without rehashing it all over again, let's just say that I couldn't even speak when I dropped her off I was crying so hard. I felt guilty for leaving her. Once I picked her up and got home to feed her she was out for the night. Literally. She didn't wake up once until the morning. She did that every day last week. It was bitter sweet. I was grateful for being able to sleep through the night, but it depressed me like hell because I barely saw her. Someone else got to enjoy my baby and not me. I kept praying that it would get better and by Friday it did. I looked forward to the weekend and spent every moment I could soaking her up. I realize that it's for the best for various reasons, I mean I could go on and on, but as long as she knows that I love her and do everything for her out of love, I should be okay. They say that it usually takes Mommy more time than Baby and it seems though as much. By Friday she was smiling at all the ladies and they said she'd been doing great. I still miss her and I mean I REALLY MISS HER, but I know this will only help her be more comfortable in social situations and she will be around lots of kids her age. I'm still praying that I win the lotto, but in the meantime Charlotte and I will be okay. ; )